Blog Single

And my son said “let’s go to the gym” and laughed his heart out…

Let me tell you how it all unravelled. One day my maid found a small preschool kid standing at our apartment gate along with the ayamma(helper) and driver of his school van who had juz dropped him off from school waiting for his mom to come pick him up. The mom had not come to pick him up and she was reeaaaallllly late. The ayamma and our apartment security were repeatedly trying her mobile and got no reply. It was well past a loooot of time untill they got through the boy’s dad. Surprisingly, the kid through all this time was cool as a cucumber. I thought that it was pretty strong for a preschooler to not start crying and get worried.

It started a big discussion with my kids ” if u were in his place”. My son valiantly said “I would just walk to my house”. Of course he has to, he is 12 !!! he laughed his heart out, again ! We did not actually have the courage to ask my daughter, cause my maid herself came up with the comment ” Akka ,if ammu was in his place the place would have been flooded ” .Well, as a millennial parent it just made me wonder as does every other millennial crap makes me do, how do I prepare these kids for things so small like this or things as huge and unexpected as heartbreaks, job failures, dead ends?

As expected, my son had an answer to that too “amma, by going through it once, we get prepared for it, when it happens again.like a drill. maybe you can do some mock runs , tell us about some scenarios ” . His answer basically meant all the same thing. ‘Experience’ . As good a suggestion it was and as good a mother I think I am I know I could not make mock drills for each and every thing that they are going to face in their life and I cannot protect them from all the things life throws at them and I cannot fight their battles.

Experience is our best teacher but what about the scars that it leaves behind? How do we talk ourselves out of these situations, pick up the pieces and march forward. Where do we find the strength for that? So, how do we make our children strong? Do we be hard on them because the world is hard and they know what they are getting into ? or be soft on them letting them know that when hard things happen to them they can always find solace in us?. I for one can shout at them but never be mean to them to ‘prepare’ them. I don’t think being pushed around by your parents makes them any stronger. In fact they would just end up being alone and sad and hating you for it. I would rather be the soft cushion of arms into which they can fall into when they nurse their bleeds or fight and lose.

Or I could just write a blog about it … and pick all your brains about it… 

The important thing is to let them know they are invaluable how they are. For them to know to be ok with how they are and them to realize that they have it in them to be strong and face the world, to be comfortable with their expressions and feelings. After all they are your reflections, a piece of you,a small delta variance from your craziness. The apple doesn’t fall far away from the tree.

They will be fine… just like we are..